
Funny Stuff

SEMI-OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER
This quirky, somewhat groan-free page contains some of the stuff that has been emailed to or collected by The Freeman Institute™ (TFI) over the years. TFI does not necessarily claim authorship to any or all pieces. We have tried to attribute authorship where possible.
This is here for your amusement -- a diversion in the middle of your busy day or evening. Plus, you might just find some bonus items for your monthly newsletter. Some of it is politically incorrect. Enjoy anyway. And try really, really hard not to be offended. "It's only a joke, for Pete's sake!"
Feel free to email your jokes (Rated G - PG13, clean!) and other funny stuff. If it passes the TFI office staff sniff test (say that fast five times) and scores at least a 7.8 on the "Laugh-Out-Loud-O-Meter" it just might get added here. Keep checking back for additional categories.
By the way, no animals were harmed in the creation of this page. We are saddened, however, to report that thus far the ozone layer has been depleted by .03 milligrams. You have been warned. View the categories below at your own risk. Before you get started, here's a warm-up exercise:
1. Grab a calculator (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area
code -- example: 555-976-5555 -- you'd use "976"
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number (e.g. 5349)
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2. (How do they do that! Try it again with a
different number.)
You are now intellectually stimulated enough -- ready to genuinely appreciate and respect the humor awaiting you below...
Dr. Freeman's
Latest Book
HOW I LEARNED TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day.
And all of the patients were shouting "13....13....13..."
The fence was too high to see over, but
I saw a little gap in the planks.
So I looked through to see what was going on....
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting "14....14....14..."
Contents
- APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
- STEPHEN WRIGHT'S DEADPAN HUMOR NEW!
- HEY, WANNA SEE A PICTURE OF MY PRIDE AND JOY? NEW!
- 20 RESPONSES TO USE WITH TELEMARKETERS
- ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY WASTED ON THE YOUNG
- COMPANY ANTI-MOTIVATION POSTERS NEW!
- ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS
- 45 SAYINGS THAT SHOULD BE ON BUTTONS NEW!
- HUMOR IN THE COURT NEW!
- LINGO BINGO NEW!
- GEORGE BUSH - ISMS NEW!
- HAIKU -- SUBMIT YOUR HAIKU NEW!
- ORGANIZATIONAL CHART -- A BOTTOM VIEW NEW!
Own a full-size, 3-D
Rosetta Stone Replica
- For Both Men & Women!
- THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN NEW!
- THE BIG QUESTION: SHOULD WE GET A DOG OR HAVE KIDS? NEW!
For Women Only! - WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A WOMAN
- 36 QUOTES WOMEN GET
- ANATOMY OF THE FEMALE BRAIN
For Men Only! - WHY IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY
- ANATOMY OF THE MALE BRAIN
- JACK RUSSELL TERRIER -- STRANGE, BUT TRUE NEW!
- RULES FOR MEN EXPLAINED -- FINALLY! NEW!
more below...
Psst, hey you -- Yes, you! Do you have the intelligence to check out Freeman's books & DVDs?
You also need a "relativity" brilliant
seminar program for your organization.
"DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO DRIVE YOU CRAZY!"
* When Strangling Someone Isn't An Option * All Stressed Out and No One To Choke
* A White Man's Journey Into Black History * Diversity: The Value of Mutual Respect
- AN INCREDIBLY AMAZING CARD TRICK NEW!
- HR HUMOR -- FOR HUMAN RESOURCES PROFESSIONALS -- NEW!
- 36 THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
- ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES NEW!
- 51 SIGNS YOU’RE GETTING OLDER (Large Print Edition)
- HUMOR FOR SEMI-PROFESSIONAL SPEAKERS NEW!
- 50 WEIRD THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR NEW!
- COLLEGE ENTRANCE ESSAY?
- HELP IN FILLING OUT YOUR TIME SHEET NEW!
- COUNTRY SONG TITLES NEW!
- WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER NEW!
- 28 IMMATURE WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
- LAWYER JOKES NEW!
- WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? NEW!
- INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
- HIRE LEARNING
- A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FAVORITE POLITICIAN (YOU'LL BE AMAZED BY OUR ACCURACY!)
- KIND OF SICK ONE-LINERS NEW!
- WISDOM FROM SENIOR CITIZENS
- ACTUAL STATEMENTS BY AIRLINE CREWS
- POLITICAL SCIENCE 101 NEW!
- CLASSIC CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS
- TOUGH ENOUGH TO LEARN ENGLISH? NEW!
- TOP 47 OXYMORONS
- TOTALLY USELESS FACTS
- MARYLAND HUMOR NEW!
- THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING ON THE JOB
- AMAZING ANAGRAMS
- BIZARRE, BUT TRUE
- HOW TO SING THE BLUES: A PRIMER NEW!
- KIDS WILL SAY/DO THE DARNDEST THINGS
- A PRAYER FOR THE DAY
- BILLBOARD MESSAGES FROM GOD
- STUPID-CRIMINALS HALL OF SHAME
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